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Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
- Hello? - Mom. - Oh, Charlie. Oh, my God.
I was three, and it was an Oscar Meyer wienie whistle.
- Anything else? - Yeah.
Ah, one of Santa's little helpers.
- Yeah, turkey's funny that way. - Dad!
- Anything to drink? - Ice-cold marg.
he doesn't know how to process a crime scene.
So I can't be selfish either.
- I don't like eggnog. - We're out.
Whoa.
"Out by Paul's room there's a Rose Suchak ladder."
In the silence of the night
- Bye, Charlie. - Bye, Neal.
- You never do what I wanna do! - Would you please be quiet for a minute so I can figure this out?
I've gained 45 pounds in a week. Pete, what's happenin' to me?
Don't ever try this without elf supervision.
I wanna be with you, Dad.
How about a stiff drink?
I've gained 45 pounds in a week!
I ran real late today. You wouldn't believe the traffic out here.
Charlie, what are you doing? I thought I told you to stay in the sleigh.
Santa Claus! (PULL HIS BEARD OUT, MARY GASPS, KIDS SCREAMING) Poppins - hooray!
Okay, look. So, what? You put on a little weight.
- Where'd you get them? - I don't know.
Charlie, would you like to introduce your, um...
Santa, are you okay? Over. Over.
There aren’t that many comments over there.
- Sure. - I made something for them at the workshop.
Well, wait, sport. Sport. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Plain floor's fine
Dad! Check out Santa's sleigh.
I'll explain it to you later.
- Coffee. Decaf. - Mm-hmm.
We're talking sunup? You're here?
Not as good as my wife's, but let's not open up that wound.
I say name You say, Scott Coleman
Can I get you anything? The kitchen's always open.
Oh, would Santa really beat someone up?
- S. C? - Yeah, Santa Claus.
That's not surprising. Most grown-ups can't believe in magic.
Except "Mystery Date."
- Huh? - You said you were lactose intolerant.
Here.
Not my fault
I'm an elf.
- Dad, you gotta see this place. - You leave tomorrow morning.
And rummy tum-tums
I’ve got homeowners’ insurance… And a good attorney!
Second place is fine
Dad!
You miss me already? I've been gone, what? Ten minutes.
Back to work. Thanks.
Huh? Well, nuts. I...
What do you say we start out with cold glasses...
But, Dad... No buts, Charlie. But, Dad... No buts, Charlie.
Gonna find out who's naughty or nice
There's no chimney here. Can you hear me? No chimney, all right?
I never in my wildest... Well, no, okay, maybe my wildest...
I don't know what's happening to you.
I’ll have chocolate milk please. We’re out.
- What? - When can I get outta here?
- It'll be okay, kids. - Let him go! Let Santa go!
Ah, ho, ho.
- Where are all the grown-ups? - This is so cool.
I think if we're gonna destroy our son's illusions, I should be a part of it.
I've gained 45 pounds in a week.
Not for you toilet boy! Toilet boy?!
Do you remember those?
Charlie. Honey, listen. You're confused.
It's just I never thought you would stoop to changing your physical appearance...
What I can't believe is that he would go behind our backs all this time,
- I'm tired of this small talk. - Hmm.
My wienie whistle.
This is our perpetrator.
- It's light, yet durable. - And you can wear the jumpsuit under your coat and pants.
If Charlie spending time with you is the best thing for him.
Hey, you know what. I got somethin' for you.
Every social worker ever...
Not over any oceans, Scott!
by either accident or design."
So, uh, if we go straight on this road, and we hit I-94...
You know, I must say, you look pretty good for your age.
I'm in big trouble. Mm-hmm.
Look at the elaborate measures he's taken.
- That was a dream. - You're in denial, Dad.
We're not kids, and we're not visiting.
- Just like the ones I used to know - It's always open. - I don't wanna eat here.
I’ve got homeowners’ insurance… And a good attorney!
On we will sing, dawn with a hymn Angel will come to every home
- Packages? - Yeah, there's quite a few of them.
Come on, Dad! Come on!
I love you, Dad.
How does five bucks Sound to ya?
I... I see it, but I don't believe it.
I've gained 45 pounds in a weekend
To drive the winter's cold away
Ladies and gentlemen, can I have your attention?
Not everyone celebrates Christmas.
On the side.
Uh, Hollywood Wives.