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Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.
- What are you saying? - All I'm saying is, that girl,
How do I know what the fuck you're talking about?
What the fuck?
So...
- You're fucking weird, you know that? - I don't entirely disagree,
- BARBARA: What the fuck are you doing? - Baby!
And tonight, I finally got to fuck her.
- Yo, Jonny, you coming out tonight? - That's dubious.
- You mean you're a waiter? - No.
[TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING]
You're not listening to me. I like my place, OK?
that you don't get from sex with an actual person?
Are you fucking kidding me? You didn't tell me you were bringing home
Maybe when I was a kid, like before I had a VCR in my room and I couldn't,
Shit starts to remind me of my mom or something.
[MUSIC SWELLS]
Biting Cleveland’s penis
- Christ! - Yeah, this is the long game.
-...I hit 11. - [WOMEN MOANING]
- I brought you something. - You what?
Cowgirl
That's like a junkie. They couldn't stop. I could stop if I wanted to. I could.
- No, like every day? - Every guy watches porn every day.
Since when do you ask me personal questions?
Oh! Got you, bitch!
- You got to catch up, baby! - You mean I got to buy your poor ass
- PRIEST: Yes? - Yeah, so that's like zero for the week.
Well, what is it? What do you get from porn
- Who? - Rosa, my cleaning lady, she's great.
I don't know, I don't know what's wrong with me.
- MOTHER: What did you say? - What do you mean, what did I say?
Twos and threes, baby. I'm telling you, twos and threes are some open-minded ladies.
So how did you find out my name?
For the next few minutes, all the bullshit fades away,
Yes Friends
- PRIEST: Amen. Bless you, my son. - Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
Why did you come here, huh? Why did you say yes to me?
I just look right back at her, and pretty soon...
- Did you say...? - JON SR.: She asked you what you said.
What's the matter with that? I couldn't understand you, either.
No. I like my porn, OK? I watch it every day. I always have.
TEACHER: Very good. OK, when we come back, we'll go over employee personality testing.
with that thing than I do with my girlfriend?
Jesus! [LAUGHS]
JON: So, you tell me, which looks better?
...goodbye
Jesus Christ, those tits! They're real?
- What? - You're not gonna go buy a mop right now.
- You in love with this girl already? - Go fuck yourself.
Cowgirl
- Oh, shit! - That's her?
Why bother with porn when you can have the real thing?
[WOMAN MOANING]
JON: It's no one's fault, really, but it still sucks. So...
you find the right girl and you treat her the right way?
Cum Baby Cum
[COMPUTER CHIMES]
[HIP-HOP SONG PLAYS OVER STEREO]
I didn't say I didn't like it. I said it's not a dime.
The shit I watch on here, they're not pretending.
- Oh! Oh! - Huh? Yeah? Yeah?
...I guess I lost my temper and I...
- What did you do to your...? - Mom, it's fine.
- You like that? - Fucking right I do!
- Oh, the family's got money? - No, he's got a job.
You're talking about it like... No, why would I?
WOMAN: Bella? Sweetheart, come over here.
You want a TiVo? Is that what you're saying?
Oh, God, you're like a junkie. You can't stop.
He's definitely been spending time at the gym.
When you really love a girl, there's a lot that goes into it.
OK, great.
I thought he still had a pair of balls hanging between his legs.
- What? - You wanna know who's beautiful?
- [LAUGHS] You changed your hair? - Yeah...
...and at the hour of our death.
[MOANING]
I'm almost out of Swiffer pads. I'm gonna pick a few up.