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Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
Hi.
- What's that? - Open it.
- To you, maybe not, but to me... - Look at that. Sorry, buddy.
[RADIO PLAYS INDISTINCTLY]
- That bad? She find somebody else? - No.
- Yeah, they're real. - Oh! Fuck me!
No. Why would I?
you caught me in a kind of an inopportune moment last week.
- Where you going? - I told you where I was going.
Well, please sit down and I will be right back.
- Yeah. - That's interesting.
- Jon, say something! - JON SR.: All right!
- Fuck you! - Where's wife?
You look so cute, the two of you.
Why don't you get the thing where you can pause...
...my church...
Real girls won't do that shit. You just gotta cum into the fucking condom.
Here it is. Shut up already, finally. Shit!
Mm... Don't you think it's always better when it means something?
Call me.
Fuck Me Ryan
Nothing else does it for me the same way. Not even real pussy.
I'm telling you, a woman like that make a boy into a man.
Cowgirl
- No, I did. - Did somebody pick it for you?
[CHUCKLES]
and we 're just fucking... lost together.
Let's take a bath.
There's some kind of... bad marriage situation here?
- Red. - Holy shit! That's a dime.
she has her own agenda. She doesn't care about Jonny,
Moneyshot? No. There is no real-life moneyshot.
Well, anyway, I told the Father a while back
- Jesus fucking Christ! - Jon!
There. Go ahead, look. Go ahead.
you know, nobody's seen me like that in, like, six months,
- Hey, fuck you, buddy! - MAN: Fuck you!
hi
You got those nice floors at your place. What, do you mop?
- An eight. At least an eight. - That is not an eight.
She was the most important thing to him. He gave up everything for her.
- That's definitely her. - Oh! Got you, bitch!
Hey, where were you?
- Yeah? And you couldn't? - No, I couldn't.
First of all, condoms are terrible. They just are.
He's older than you were when we got married.
- Everything good with you? - What's the matter with this guy?
and the only thing in the world is those tits...
- No, I waited for you. - Sweet.
I know that last one sounds weird, but I'm just being honest.
Fuck! Goddamn it!
out of wedlock two times. I also watched pornographic videos and masturbated 17 times.
And I don't mean love like, I love her, I wanna marry her.
OK. It's totally unlike the stuff that I imagine you watch every day.
When we're living together, you're not...
- Oh! Big play! Look at that! - OK, Jon.
You shouldn't be doing your own housework.
Best ever.
Yeah, but the butt, man, it's exceptional. I'm telling you. It changes everything.
- Did you ever watch it? - No.
- What makes you think you could do that? - Do what?
I ask you to do the easiest fucking thing, and you can't do it!
I didn't hurt anybody, but...
The blonde in the dress? She was insane, bro. You hit that?
while you watch people pretend they're fucking on your phone!
- Why? - Why? What do you mean why?
- She a Jew? - I don't think so.
- A little windy. - Yeah, it's windy out here.
- To us. - [GLASSES CLINK]
- Honey, what band was it? - You think I remember?
My girlfriend's waiting at home, so...
Great.
...my ride...
All you do is look at porno. That's all you fucking do!
ANGIE: I was out with some girlfriends. We went to see some band.
The pretty man.
- I asked around. - You asked around about me?
In your browser?
- PRIEST: Amen. Bless you, my son. - Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
There's only a few things I really care about...
Wait a minute. Did you see that? I'm asking you.
- Barbara Sugarman. - Sugarman?