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Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
It's fine. It's fine.
- I'm sorry. - No, it's fine.
But not tonight, ladies and gentlemen.
It's something silly. It's a little thing. Go ahead.
[SOFT PANTING]
Nah, see, it's not the same thing.
Go ahead, take a break.
- we do it all the fucking time! - Yeah, I know we do.
- No, I don't buy it. - I'm telling you. That's all.
Why you think my boys call me The Don?
The tits lie flat, you can't see her ass,
[GASPING]
[ORGAN PLAYS SOMBER MELODY]
Real talk, real talk. Purple.
- Ten Lord's Prayers and ten Hail Marys. - Thank you, Father.
He treats women like they're trash, but... he makes six figures.
Possum biting Cleveland’s penis Possum biting Cleveland’s penis
Sex
- Fuck! - I think it's dinner. Maybe even lunch.
You know that? For God's sake, he's your son!
- Why didn't you call me back? - Come on. You're a grown woman.
Then when do we get to meet her?
It's digital. You just rewind and watch it.
- I know. - No, for real,
- Hey, baby. - Hi, Jon.
but do I have any grandchildren? No!
- She's a dime, but... - This girl's more than a dime.
as it is in heaven...
[TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING]
No, it seemed like a good idea. I'm in the service industry now.
Her body was at least an eight, but you didn't talk to her.
sesame street is also brought to you by a Cooperative Agreement, with the US Department of Education, the corporation for public broadcasting's ready to learn grant. and viewers like you. thank you.
The blowjob the cowgirl
Yeah, you did.
she doesn't know the first thing about him.
- it's fucking disgusting. - It's stupid is what that is.
[WHISPERING] Holy Mary...
Possum biting Cleveland’s penis Possum biting Cleveland’s penis
You're cute, I like you.
That's what became clear to me when you startled me.
that we started dating? How about that?
[ORGAN PLAYS SOMBER MELODY]
- Fuck me? Did you just say fuck me to me? - Jon!
Right. 'Cause fucking losers watch porn, guys that can't get laid.
I don't have to waste my time in a fucking classroom.
Knickknacks
- I wanted to talk to you. - Yeah? What about?
I feel like I should leave my jacket in the car. Maybe not. Should I bring it?
- Really? - A girl that bad gets mad friend requests.
- It's OK. I'll be right back. - Baby...
- And does she love you? - Wait a minute. Love him? You kidding?
Cowgirl
- How are you? - Good. Good. How you been?
But, from down here, there's nothing good about this.
No, no, no, no, no. No. A nice handful, I love it, but more than that, it's like no!
SHDXVJF
- So... - [MOANING]
Do friends
For these and all the sins of my life, I am sorry.
- Just today. - I don't know what you're talking about.
- Fuck! Goddamn it! Fuck! - [CAR HORN HONKING]
- You sure? - Yeah. We barely know each other.
- Fucking bullshit. Did you see that? - Nah, I didn't see it. What happened?
So after all that obligatory shit, the friend mixing and meeting her folks,
- Yeah. - I just looked up your name.
but even then I had Playboys, so...
Anyway, I saw him early in the night,
and it's nothing to do with actual sex. That's why you have trouble with real women.
- Jonny-boy! - Jesus, bro, I can smell it on you already.
[PANTING, MOANING]
- You good? - Let me get a Grey Goose and soda.
Are you kidding me? You don't got to be doing that.
- Really? - What are you, my mom?
[COMPUTER CHIMES]
And when I say making love, I mean...
Wait! Father, I'm really sorry,
- Mm-mm. No. - Does he do that muscle guy thing
[FIREWORKS WHISTLING, POPPING IN DISTANCE]
- All right. I got time. - Really? You got time?
Hey, baby.
- Bro, I'm busy. - Word, what you doing?
- Is that why you kissed me? - I didn't kiss you.
- Everybody good? - Yeah, great.
My husband and my son died 14 months ago.
but you're the one who's gonna pretend you're texting
- WOMAN: Jon! All right already! - So if you've heard of it,
You gonna get that?
JON: I don't watch too many movies.
I mean, real pussy's all good, but, no offense...
- You seriously never heard of that? - Yes! I've heard of it, Jesus fucking...
[HIP-HOP PLAYS]
- Bye-bye. - Bye.
It's porn, it's not fucking heroin.
(Jade Moore) And wrong till demand!
I can be that way when I'm shit-faced.
...the blowjob, the cowboy,
- I can't let you come inside just yet. - No?
For these and all the sins of my life, I am sorry.