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Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
You're right. You're totally right. Shit!
- when you said it. - Well, I did.
All right, listen, listen, I gotta go, so I'll see you later? All right. Bye.
I punched through this guy's window on my way here right now.
I'd rather work my way into it, nice and easy.
You guys know tonight is me and this girl's one-month anniversary.
- and my sister? - Uh...
Some dumb-ass buddy of mine sent it to me as a joke. Come on!
- What do you want me to say? - What do I want you to say?
I'm sorry, did you think I was hitting on you? Because I'm not.
I would leave you alone, but I swear to God,
- No. - What do you do?
I don't know. Am I right? I'm just guessing, but...
Thank you. It's so nice to finally meet you both.
- That's fine. You want some coffee? - No, actually I gotta go pretty soon, so...
- You're not. - No. Right now I'm not.
Oh, hello, hello! You must be Barbara.
[MOANING]
- Retail? - No.
- That's not a dime. - I'm sorry, but I'd rather do that
- Thanks for meeting me. - Sure.
I don't know, I guess I'm missing something.
Oh, go! Jesus. It's a yellow light! Fuck you!
[HIP-HOP PLAYS]
Cars are terrible things.
- Look what you did. - Sorry. What do you want me to do?
I just wanted to apologize. I don't know if you remember,
Wait...
...and lead us not... into temptation...
[ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYS]
I just want you to be happy, that's all! Is that too much to ask?
I'm sorry, OK? I... I'm sorry. I am so sorry...
I thought you were different.
- Oh. We haven't done it yet. - Shit, really?
- [LAUGHS] What pads? - For the Swiffer.
- You weren't. You were watching porno! - That's not what that was.
But didn't you tell me last week that you like porn better than real sex?
Possum biting Cleveland’s penis
- Oh, my God. That's so amazing! - All right. I like him.
Yeah.
The service industry, it's not a bad thing.
I used one of the towels that was in there, hope you don't mind.
[MOANING]
...I couldn't do it all for you.
- What is it with you? Huh? - No, I just...
Excuse me? Sorry, were you on your phone?
How she wants me to do it
- Yeah, whatever you want. - Oh...
- Why did you pick this class? - I didn't.
[TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING]
- So she's good? - What did I say? Yeah, she's good.
P P
OK, calm down, you don’t need beer
- JON SR.: Here we go... - Shh! Barbara what?
- I love these two. And you? - Yeah. They're great.
[DOOR SLAMS]
Please, don't. Please, don't you apologize. You didn't do anything wrong.
I'm... I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.
No, 'cause I don't know what that would mean. You know?
and yeah, I do lose myself in her,
where he's, like, looking at himself while you're doing it?
The first kiss.
- To you, baby. - No, to us.
Well, that's all you're gonna say?
like a good little phony. Here.
- Hey. - Hi.
He's just such a real man. And she's so beautiful too, always.
Come here. Listen to me.
Well, I gotta go, we gotta go. Come on, let's go. Come on. Come on.
- Twenty Lord's Prayers and 25 Hail Marys. - Thank you, Father.
I really liked you, you know?
Cowgirl
- I stopped watching porn. - Oh, yeah? That's great!
- I'd rather get pizza with my boys. - That's new.
[MOANING]
JON: Maybe it's time to try something new. So...
...on earth...
She caught me watching porn.
[CHURCH BELL CHIMING]
[SCOFFS] I don't even know. When I was a kid or something.
- Fuck you. - You wanna fuck me?
I don't know if he saw me till later, but I saw him.
- I can like any girl I wanna like. - But she's not hotter than my girl.
[CHURCH BELLS CHIMING]
- That's bullshit. - Swear to God.
Come on, you're gonna look so good in a suit.
- So... I'm good. How are you? - Good, thanks.
...my girls...
Stop upsetting your mother! What the fuck is the matter with you?
- You don't remember her? - She's coming over here.
[TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING]
I know, you wanna get back, so let me enjoy this and I'll drive you back to your car.
If you had it like that, it would have went down.
- You want those? - Yeah.
- I'm saying, this girl... - Oh, my God!
- I'm not taking his side. - You are.
- You gotta help me out... - You looked at 46 porno sites today, Jon.
[CHURCH BELLS CHIMING]
- ANGIE: Did you clear the table? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here, here, honey.
JON: In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, Amen.
Fuck Me Ryan
[COMPUTER CHIMES]
Best ever.